Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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