She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
