he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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