ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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