Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
