Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
