How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just threw up on my dentist
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
