my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
