she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
