pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
