saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
