I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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