I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
