Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
