she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
