You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
