elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
