I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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