a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
