just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
