I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
