Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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