I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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