if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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