I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
