Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
