so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
