Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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