I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She announced her abortion via fbk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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