I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
