And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
