She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
