You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
