what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
