I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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