lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
