Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
