it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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