drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
pop tarts are not kleenex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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