just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Someone signed my nipple.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
