How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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