is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
