I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had to cum in my sink.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
