Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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