Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wear drunk well.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
