Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
