i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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