there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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