He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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