Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
