He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
