then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Pooping to opera.
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