Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
